Most meditators who talk with me are concerned that they haven’t meditated as much as they think would be good for them. For my part, I vividly recall my relief when I saw a video in which Pema Chodron acknowledged to Alice Walker that there were times when she couldn’t meditate.
The most common culprit is a hectic schedule. Sometimes we’re in control of our schedules, but often we’re not. For so many, juggling work, home maintenance, family, friends and crises can leave little time to let the mind and heart settle and re-establish mindfulness.
It’s a bitter irony that being too stressed or busy to meditate is when we need it most. When we look back at things we regret doing or saying, they’re usually the results of lapses in our mindfulness. We couldn’t use our best judgment in a challenging situation because it had swallowed up all our attention. Recently someone told me, “I wish I’d taken a breath, or a moment to be mindful. Or I wish I’d meditated that day so I didn’t get so wound up.”
This insightful person realized that he’d made a kind of choice to keep working to solve problems rather than spend some time meditating. We often make this choice subconsciously, when the sense of urgency feels compelling, as if the house is on fire. A dedicated routine of meditating daily – however briefly – can help us shift things back into perspective. Establishing mindfulness every day lets us do what flight attendants always say before the plane takes off: put our own masks on before trying to do anything else.
Another reason we often let our practice lapse is being too happy, like on a pleasant vacation. When all of life is pure struggle, there’s no time for practice. When life is too pleasant, there’s little incentive. This latter condition is like the “Deva Realm,” where beings reside in a kind of heaven, the pitfall being that eventually it ends, and we’re back in a world of trials and tribulations, no better prepared than when we were here last. Human life is said to be the best opportunity to achieve liberation because we’re both able and motivated to practice.
The last major hindrance to keeping up a meditation practice is doubt. That’s when you know very well all you’ve just read, but you’re not sure it applies to you “at this time.” My approach is to meditate twice a day. The first time, I establish concentration before I get out of bed every day, by maintaining uninterrupted attention solely on my breathing for the duration of three breaths. Sometimes it takes a minute; on other days it takes a while longer. But it establishes what I think of as a “baseline” of concentration so I can fairly easily return to focused attention during the day. It also reaffirms my intention to be mindful, both in daily life and insight meditation.