A heart open to suffering allows us to hurt less and rejoice more.  The Greek, Latin and French roots of “compassion” roughly mean we’re open to a feeling of sorrow stirred by the suffering of others.  It may seem like compassion would add to the dukkha that otherwise fills our lives, but it doesn’t work that way. 

This magical transformation of more into less resides in the openness of the heart.  It lets sadness in and it lets it out.  Trying to keep or hurry painful feelings out actually keeps them with us longer, hidden.  Compassion lets all our responses to the changing winds of life have their time in our hearts so we can heal as they pass away. 

Last Friday my car was hit by a driver who jumped out of his car screaming that it was my fault, not his.  So many powerful emotions arose that for most of that day and night my mood was so dull and heavy I was barely able to function.  Fear, anger and loss weighed on my heart.  I watched the feelings arise, hang out in my awareness, and finally begin to fade. 

After a night of troubled sleep I awoke to see that most of those emotions had passed, and later I got a phone call from the other driver.  As we talked, I sensed that he was suffering and I felt compassion for him.  I couldn’t solve the problems he’d created for himself, but it felt good to be able to hold goodwill for him. 

Compassion allowed me to stay present as this emotional storm ran its course, leaving me able to welcome what life had in store next.  I was there for myself as I suffered, and that let me be there for others, including the man whose actions had given rise to all that turmoil.  Thoughts of blame arose, both toward myself and the other driver, but I let those thoughts go – not to be “good” about it but because I knew those thoughts would just cause more dukkha.

I’m telling you all this because it amazed me to watch it happen and I realize, while it’s still fresh in my memory, it’s a pretty good example of how compassion works with suffering – both ours and others’.  It doesn’t immunize us against unpleasant emotions.  But it protects us from their lingering in our minds and hearts, continuing to cause more dukkha for us or others. 

The openness of a compassionate heart is a comfort with the 10,000 ways of suffering that are likely to arise in our lives.  It also lets us be totally there for the 10,000 joys of life.  With my heart still feeling tender, the weekend after the collision was especially loving and pleasant.