It’s actually a practice recommended by the Buddha to appreciate ourselves.  When asked by monks in his Sangha what would be good for them to think about when they weren’t otherwise practicing, the Buddha said they should think about their own goodness. 

Almost all of us have been generous and kind, worked for the benefit of others, and turned our attention to meditation and ethics.  There is enough in our past to fill plenty of spare moments remembering all the good we’ve done.

We have been grateful, too, for the kindnesses of others and the good things that have come to us in other ways.  Most people I know can take note of what’s done for us.  Unfortunately, a lot of us find it harder to appreciate what we do for others.

As a child I was scolded for dwelling on how good it made me feel to give a friend something I valued highly.  “That’s conceit,” I was told.  This was when I was still going to church, where I was told to “give so the left hand doesn’t know what the right hand is doing.”  In other words, I was trained to forget my generosity even while I was acting on it.  

Now I endeavor to remember it.  To value and honor that movement of my heart that wants to help make others happy.  It is still something I’m learning.  It’s been my habit for so long to forget my kindnesses that a lot of my history has been lost to me.

Appreciating our own goodness encourages the heart to open again, to give it positive reinforcement.  From the second part of the Noble Eightfold Path through the parts on Ethics, Buddhism tells us to avoid causing any beings to suffer – in other words, to be guided by the Intention of kindness. 

Kindness is a motive we can actively cultivate.  It’s a bit ironic that one of the best ways to do this is what I was discouraged from doing as a child: appreciating my own goodness.  It isn’t self-centered to celebrate when we care about others.  It’s just the opposite, helping us actually feel our connection with all beings, and understand that we are not separate or isolated.  It lets us savor the happiness we’ve helped engender.

When we appreciate our goodness we also reinforce our best intentions and encourage ourselves to continue being a loving and lovable person.  It’s an activity that sets in motion a snowball of happiness that grows as it gathers its own momentum.