One of the loveliest benefits of intensive concentration practice is the vacation it gives us from our selves.  That isn’t meant to imply there’s anything wrong with anyone’s self.  It’s probably entirely functional in holding a space in the world to do what’s needed. 

The self is a little like one of those places that can fill up with fluid after internal surgery.  It can get full enough that it feels quite solid, like a Thing that’s in there, causing pain and consternation.  But it isn’t a thing that has ongoing, separate reality.  It drains from time to time, sometimes seeming to disappear.  It’s a process that performs a function in a way that gives the appearance of being a Thing.

The major problem with the self is the way we think about it.  It becomes an obsession with the vast majority of people, and that can be far more troublesome than a place full of fluid in the abdomen.  Any slight to the self, any deprivation, frustration or disappointment can bring on emotion or mood that is taken very seriously.  The mind reviews events that seemed to cause this distress over and over, so we remain in a state of unhappiness.  That’s dukkha.  That’s suffering.

Students of Buddhist teachings often see the cause of dukkha as events, but the first link in the chain of causation is clinging to the self.  As one great teacher famously pronounced, “No self, no problem.”  That’s why meditation is so important.  When we withdraw from other activities, remain still, and let the mind settle into mindfulness, the self becomes extraneous.   The experience is delightful.  The longer concentration can hold mindfulness steady, the longer a break we get from the dukkha that comes from tending an engorged idea of self.

Most people want to know:  if what they just read is true, then who read it?  The Buddha said this question leads to a thought loop that can make us crazy.  It’s counterproductive to ask this, because it assumes there’s some Thing to replace the Thing we’ve assumed was our Self, and reinforces the original assumption. 

Here’s a less misleading way to think about the self:  I’m looking out on my garden and the tall plants are dancing.  What’s doing that?  The wind, sure, but what is the wind, and what’s causing it?  That line of questions will end up in space with the spinning, rotating earth following the sun amid other stars on their hard-to-imagine journey.  Or it might end up in an atom where the tiny bits that comprise it turn into energy on closer inspection.  It’s all Process, including us: remembering, analyzing, planning and feeling.  Every thing is process at its core.

So meditate and take a break from thinking about the self as often as you can, for as long as you can.  The more we can suspend our obsession with self, the more at ease we’ll be with the idea of self, which does help us function in this world.  Meditation lets us develop a healthier relationship our selves.  Every moment when the mind can leave alone its obsession with self is a gift, a taste of freedom and a release into joy.  Try it.  You’ll like it.